Real men play champong

Real men play champong

In a departure from our usual classier fair, today's article focuses on a topic near and dear to the college student heart: champong. For the uninitiated, Urbandictionary.com defines champong thus:

champong

To play beer pong with Champagne. What many sororities do, but it's stupid because it's too bubbly and you throw up after.

Lisa: Wanna play champong? Jared: No, sorry, I'm a man.

I have several obvious problems with this definition. First, although UD specifies that the game is played with Champagne, in blatant disregard of the naming rules as outlined in the previous post I must insist that champong can be played with any kind of sparkling wine (somehow I doubt the French are going to take much offense to the mislabeling of champong). At the very least I certainly recommend that it is not played with anything REMOTELY expensive; pong necessitates imbibing quite quickly, which means any cheap sparkling wine will do just fine. I recommend Andre, which usually can be found for under $5. Peach Passion is a personal favorite. But also remember the unfailing inverse relationship of wine quality to hangover (ie the cheaper the wine, the greater the hangover). All of those who have experienced a cheap wine hangover know what I’m talking about.

And most importantly, champong is NOT stupid. Sparkling wine is far more delicious and easier to drink than beer, and in my opinion not any more likely to make you throw up afterwards. And while yes, playing champong is maybe for men the drinking games equivalent of wearing pink, I would argue that there is certainly something very chivalrous about a man comfortable enough in his own masculinity to respect the fact that I don't really like Keystone Light and resign himself to spending the evening chugging Andre without complaint. Sorry, Jared.

Of course, disclaimer on all of this is I am a sorority girl, and thus genetically programmed to like Champong and any cheap, fruity, minimally alcoholic beverage.

I also discovered through a google search that Champong is also the name of a spicy seafood Korean noodle dish. You do learn something every day!

More on champong to come, for the more juvenile (but still legal!) readers of champagnereport.com